Hola Abramovich

www.marriagemakeover.co.uk

The lad paid up!

Or at least - that is what the Daily Express tells us.

If so – he is to be prized beyond rubies AT LAST a powerful man who recognises that his wife of 16 years, mother of his 5 children, partner in a marriage that began in her mother’s 2 bedroom flat without a rouble between them, has EARNED her share in the family fortunes. No dispute, no arrogant posturing, no assumption that he should have more because he’s the one who went to the office while she kept hearth, home and kids going – just a quiet, dignified separation of finances by agreement. Hallelujah!

And yet, inspite of headline cases, this is much more like real life than the legal fisticuffs we see in the papers. The vast majority of divorces settle by agreement – in the last 12 years I have only taken 6 before the Judge for a decision out of 100’s settled after negotiation. Divorce leads to 3 types of loss – a share of the assets, the costs of the lawyers, and last (but often the worst) the loss of focus and working ability for however long it takes to sort it out, which can of itself destroy a new business. Abramovitch has minimised his loss by retaining his privacy in Russian proceedings, coughing up the required sum, and doing it quietly and quickly. It’s only sad that such an apparently cooperative relationship should have ended up as a divorce at all – I wonder if they would have stayed together without the pressure of huge wealth and international jet set lifestyle? For most people, sitting down and discussing the facts and figures supporting their marriage before a suggestion of separation can be an opportunity to review their relationships, and manage it for more profit and pleasure in the future. Doing this every few years, just like a business making of 3 or 5 years plan, seems cold and calculated, but it gives a solid foundation so that each person has a chance to build a life which they want, rather than drift into resentment and boredom. I am sure the pace of Roman Abramovitch’s life meant that there could be no “drift”, but for the rest of us, we should use our willingness to talk to preserve our assets, lifestyle and loved ones future. Negotiate agreements within marriage – don’t wait until you have to do it in divorce!